Bringing Punk to the Wrong Generation

UPDATED 5th Sept 2005: Harakiri Karaoke -the honourable way to die (by public humiliation). Cheesy one-man excercise in embarrassment by Chris Wheelie (The Bus Station Loonies). Quite simply, I take classic punk songs from the different ages and genres and mutilate them almost beyond recognition on my Yamaha PSR-350 keyboards, creating a kind of punk ferry cruise cabaret. Harakiri Karaoke now has a ludicrous CD and Tape available, entitled "Desecrating the Grave of Punk" - 10 tracks, inc. a few mentioned below, available from Ruptured Ambitions (see web link) for about the price of a pint, or less, I dunno, depends where you live.

Stealing in the Name of the Lord
Imagine the bastard offspring of John Shuttleworth (post Jilted John)and Frank Sidebottom on a rough day and you'll have no idea how cringe-making Harakiri Karaoke can be for many. It began at a friend's birthday (quite probably ex-friend now, one would assume)when The Bus Station Loonies were booked to play but he rest of the band couldn't make it. Not wanting to completely let the fella down, I put together half a dozen background tunes on my keyboards and performed them that evening in the pub (The Nowhere Inn, Plymouth). Shortly after, birthday boy no doubt wished he'd never been born.
Since then, I've been tinkering and tinkling and putting together various sets for various fill-in routines at various engagements. Last time I ruined many a punx picnic and, as soon as I get my 4-track fixed, some kinda demo tape/CD may well become a hideous reality (see below for the kinda songs massacred & cheesed to death).
OK, if you click on where it says "Sign My Guestbook", then, you'll be able to sign my guestbook! Leave requests, abuse & messages of lurve for ALL TO SEE! Not only will it make me seem hip & popular, but folk will also be able to gasp in awe & amusement at such Oscar Wilde wit from around the punk rock globe ("F*** You", "U Suck" and "I'm Bored" are winners everytime!).


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Angry Songs and Bitter Words
I've just incorporated a Dead Kennedys' set to the reportoire:"Kill The Poor", "Too Drunk To F***", Holiday in Cambodia", "Haloowe'en", "Moon Over Marin" and "Nazi Punks - F*** Off". This was done purely for a recent local Stars In Their Eyes contest, held at the Phoenix in Plymouth. No one turned-up (including the other contestants)... Apparently, I came second place. Other mouldy oldies include "Media Person" (Rudimentary Peni), "Bowl of Flies" (Leatherface), "Part-time Punks" (TV Personalities), "Puppet Life" (Punishment of Luxury), "General Barcardi" (Crass), "Life" (Alternative TV), "New Age" (Subhumans), "Gimme Sopor" and "My Old Man's a Fatso" (Angry Samoans), "Merchandise" (Fugazi), "Getting Beaten Up" (The Pirhanas), "Victimized" (Chaos UK), "So What?" (Crass), "Pretty Vacant" (Sex Pistols), "Up The Punks" (Fleas & Lice), "Fell in Love with a Girl" (White Stripes), "Stealing in the Name of the Lord" (Yeah Yeah Noh), "I'm in Love with your Mom" (Vom), "We Are Happy With Our Rats" (Mushroom Attack), "Love Song" (The Damned), "Bury Vic Berry" (Eastfield), "Don't Look in the Freezer" (Dr.& the Crippens), "Tiny Ugly World" (Alice Donut), "Love Will Tear Us Apart" (Joy Division), "I Don't Wanna Be in Love With You" (Screeching Weasel), "Song for an Old Kentucky Anarchist" (The Orphans), "No F***in' War" (Seven Year Bitch), " and a few others I can't recall at the moment... but live sets are usually no more than 20 minutes, so don't panic unduly. Always wanting to be a crowd-pleaser, please use the guestbook to send requests (I need advance warning, 'cos I can't really play the keyboards for toffee, so it takes hours of prepartion). I did once do a set that lasted 90 minutes, but that'll never happen again.

Lock Up Your Bicycles

MON 5 SEPT: Dead Kennedys set to be played at The Nowhere Inn, Gilwell Street, Plymouth 8pm Free Entry (you wouldn't expect to pay now, would you?).

MON 12 SEPT: Not officially playing, but it usually happens: "The Odd Ball" at The b-bar, Barbican Theatre, Plymouth. 3 pounds entry, but for that you also get Melissa, The Karma Bums, Richard Rising and the One-Eyed Worm, Selwyn Froglet and Nik Brooks. Comedy, Cabaret and Song. 7.30pm.

SAT 24 SEPT: This is a laugh. Supporting MILLION DEAD and GAY FOR JOHNNY DEPP at Plymouth University Students Union. Not sure of time or entry yet, but will find out.

For further bookings and general enquiries (such as "Why?"), please get a message off to me via the guestbook.

NEW! Plymouth Punx Picnic 2006 (and others)

Book Harakiri Karaoke
Like all half decent entertainers and general cheap individuals, I'm usually available for all kinds of bookings, including punx picnics, stinking festivals, smelly squat gigs, last-minute fill-ins for all-dayer benefits, parties and TV appearences. You can e-mail Harakiri Karaoke c/o Chris@doanythingyou.wanadoo.co.uk.

Plymouth Alternative News Webring
Ring Owner: Jeff Baxter Site: Plymouth Alternative News
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The Ruptured Ambitions Magic Grotto of Punkish Delights

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